Funny Gifts for Him: 15 Picks for the Man Who Says He Doesn’t Want Anything
He says he doesn’t want anything. He says it every year. Then he wears the same three shirts until you can read a newspaper through them and drinks his coffee out of a mug from a conference he attended in 2014. You can work with this.
These are funny gifts for him that we actually make: shirts, mugs and one very supportive pillow, sorted by the kind of man you are shopping for. Boyfriend, husband, dad, brother or the friend who is impossible every December, there is something here he will use without having to admit he likes it. Everything is printed to order, and every product page lists its sizes and colours.
1. For the Boyfriend or Husband
The man who already has everything, mostly because you bought it for him.
Best Boyfriend Ever T-Shirt
“Best Boyfriend Ever” in gold across the chest. Give it sincerely or give it smugly; he will not be able to tell, which is the point. S to 5XL in black, natural, navy or white.
I Don’t Snore, I Dream I’m a Motorcycle T-Shirt
For the man who swears he does not snore. A generous reframe of a well-documented problem, best given by whoever shares the room. S to 2XL in white or sport grey.
Nap-A-Holic Pillow
His Sunday afternoon plan, in pillow form. The one habit nobody is asking him to quit. Machine-washable case, in 18×18, 20×12 or 22×22.
2. For the Guy Who Is Very Confident About His Body
He has made peace with the hairline, or with leg day. Possibly both.
With a Body Like This, Who Needs Hair T-Shirt
For the man who went bald early and turned it into a personality. Confidence is doing all the heavy lifting. S to 5XL in black or white.
I Must Go, My Gym Needs Me T-Shirt
A little figure pressing two dumbbells overhead, and an exit line fit for a superhero. For the man who leaves at five sharp because a squat rack is waiting. S to 3XL in black or white.
Shopping for someone who lives at the gym? Our funny gym shirts guide has more.
3. For the Gamer and the Quiet Nerd
He will come to the family dinner. He would like it noted that he was in the middle of something.
I Paused My Game to Be Here T-Shirt
The sacrifice, stated for the record, with a small controller underneath. For social events attended under mild protest. S to 5XL in black or navy.
Undercover Nerd Men’s T-Shirt
The quiet admission, in a men’s cut. The cover was never especially convincing. S to 3XL.
4. For the Guy in Charge of the Grill and the Cooler
Food and drink humour for the man whose love language is “did you eat?”
Beer Me Please T-Shirt
A foaming mug, a big thumbs up and a polite request with a very clear objective. The “please” does a lot of diplomatic work. S to 4XL in more than a dozen colours.
This Tequila Tastes Like I’m Not Going to Work Tomorrow T-Shirt
Some drinks come with tasting notes. This one comes with a schedule change. For the friend who says “just one margarita” and means it loosely. S to XL.
Tacos Yes, You Maybe T-Shirt
A ranking, clearly communicated, with a small, smug taco on top. The tacos were never in question. S to XL.
More for this guy in our funny drinking shirts guide.
5. For His Morning Coffee
A mug is the safest funny gift there is. He will use it every day and pretend it was always his.
BOSS Mode Mug
“BOSS” with a pair of sunglasses for the O, and “Mode” underneath. For the man who runs the meeting, the group chat and the thermostat. Ceramic, 11 or 15 oz.
Wanna Hear a Joke? Decaf. Mug
The shortest joke in the cupboard, and the cruellest. For the man who considers decaf a personal insult. Ceramic, 11 or 15 oz.
Need more mugs? See our funny gifts for coffee lovers.
6. For the Slightly Rude One
Every family has one. Usually he is the favourite.
I Speak Fluent Sarcasm T-Shirt
A second language, formally declared. Fluency was never in doubt; the only question is whether everyone else is keeping up. S to 3XL.
I Didn’t Fall, I Attacked the Floor T-Shirt
For the man who trips over nothing and insists it was tactical. XS to XL in army, asphalt, black or red.
F-CAW-F Rooster T-Shirt
A rooster, a pun and a word you can technically say at Thanksgiving. Say it out loud; he will get it. XS to 4XL in black, military green, tan or white.
Quick Picks by Who You Are Shopping For
- Boyfriend or husband: the Best Boyfriend Ever tee or, if the snoring is real, the motorcycle tee.
- Dad: the Nap-A-Holic pillow, the Decaf mug or I Didn’t Fall. For more, see our funny Father’s Day gifts.
- Brother or best friend: Beer Me Please or the F-CAW-F rooster tee.
- The gamer: I Paused My Game to Be Here.
- A manager or coworker: the BOSS Mode mug, plus more in our funny boss gifts guide.
Funny Gifts for Him: Questions, Answered
What do you get a man who says he doesn’t want anything?
Something he will use without having to make a speech about it. A shirt he can wear on weekends or a mug for his morning coffee works better than a gadget he has to set up. A joke he actually relates to does the rest.
Are these OK for a family Christmas?
All 15 are swear-free. The F-CAW-F rooster tee is a pun that only lands when said out loud, so read the room before Christmas dinner. The mugs, the pillow and Best Boyfriend Ever are safe anywhere.
Are the shirts unisex?
Most are unisex fits, and size ranges differ by design, from XS to XL up to S to 5XL. Check the size chart on each product page before you order.
What sizes do the mugs come in?
Both mugs are ceramic and come in 11 oz or 15 oz.
Will it arrive before Christmas?
Everything is printed to order, so allow time for printing before it ships. Shipping options and timing are shown at checkout. If you have a date in mind, order early in December rather than late.
More Funny Gift Guides
Shopping for her too? See our funny gifts for her. Still shopping? Try our funny Christmas shirts, funny Christmas mugs, white elephant gift ideas and Secret Santa gifts under $25. For a specific kind of man, see funny gifts for introverts, funny hoodies and funny sarcastic shirts, or browse all our gift guides.